I love word plays and I started collecting some really cute ones that relate to project management. I will attribute where I can but I’m not going to do years of research on the matter. If you have something that belongs here, please bring it!

16. Now its your turn to contribute!

15. You can measure distance by time. “How far away is it?” “Oh about 20 minutes.” But it doesn’t work the other way. “When do you get off work?” “Around 3 miles.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

14. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason (Jerry Seinfeld)

13. Why do they call it a “building”? It looks like they’re finished. Why isn’t it a “built”? (Jerry Seinfeld)

12. A project should always be delivered on time, no matter how long it takes (seen somewhere)

11. Comment on meetings that last far too long: Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end (original apparently by Igor Stravinsky)

10. People tend not to wander about and then suddenly find themselves at the top of Mount Everest (Hilary “Zig” Ziglar)

9. You have to take the shot to score a goal (Unknown)(from the movie Tooth Fairy)

8. Age and Treachery always defeat Youth and Skill (Unknown)(Seen somewhere)

7. You will achieve what you measure. Converse: If you do not measure you will not know when you’ve achieved (Myself)

6. If you don’t believe that people are more important than tools, give a good tool to a bad artisan and see what happens. (unknown) (heard on the radio)

5. If you don’t pick up your dog’s poo, sooner or later you’re going to step in it (unknown) (Seen at the K-9 dog school in Johannesburg) [and then Jerry Seinfeld adds: Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge … ]

4.You cannot receive (a gift; money) with a closed hand (Elna reminded me that Suze Orman said it first)

3. Time is a great healer but a lousy beautician (unknown)(seen at Fratelli’s)

2. Leon’s second Law of Projects: If it is not written down, it doesn’t exist. (Myself)(ED: also known as Leon’s Empirical Law Of Painful Projects)

1. Leon’s first Law of Projects: Your competition is not going to ask your permission to steal your breakfast (Myself)(Used to motivate why companies need fast and agile project teams to swot the competition)

P.S.

I came across this cute blog with lots of new sayings. Check it out!

P.P.S.

Maybe I should add some appropriate jokes here? This one is from Dr. Lewis Ireland and says:

“What is the difference between a project manager and a used car salesman?”

The answer? “The used car salesman always knows when he is lying.”